just to answer these 15 things ...

i came across a very interesting blog article as published in one of Manila's online newspaper, the Inquirer.net - it sure caught my fancy since the writer is a filipina who is now residing in Denmark (neighbour to Sweden where i reside for the last 12 years).

this entry made me laugh, for all good reason. however, it is a big mistake to draw a parallel comparison of social and domestic lifestyle between the Philippines and Denmark - one will never appreciate another country's ways and culture unless you study and comprehend its grid and structure. okay, she says "15 things she will miss about the Philippines" - but if she manage to endure a 5 to 10 year stay in Denmark, she will definitely appreciate the Scandinavian ways and will see Philippines in a different light.

my unsolicited comments are in red marks - sorry, i just can't help it ... :-)

Countdown to 15 things I miss about the Philippines
12/26/07
Posted under Culture
By Lurenda Suplido-Westergaard, M.D.

INQUIRER.net
Editor’s Note: The author migrated to her husband’s Denmark with their toddler just this year.

15. Taking a taxi out of the supermarket — First of all, taking a taxi is very expensive (more about public transport later), but what I really miss is having an attendant actually carry the stuff out, wait with you as you enter the taxi line, and load up the goods. That kind of service doesn’t exist here. Heck, they don’t even give you free shopping bags at the supermarket: You have to bring your own, or they charge you for each one you take.

Taxis in the Philippines is a luxury as shopping in Europe is a luxury enjoyed by a great many. And if I may add, Europeans are wise and conscious shoppers - most of them knows the value and importance of recycling and consumers' impact on our environment.

14. Being able to drive — First, no license. Second, can’t afford to buy a car (at 200-percent tax, never mind). Third, I easily get lost (one open field looks just like any other). Fourth, I can’t imagine myself filling up at a gas station (me holding the gas nozzle? Ewwww!). Fifth, I wouldn’t know what to do if there’s a solid sheet of ice on the windshield.

Driving a car in Europe is a necessity, it is not a luxury. If one cannot manage to take care of their own car, you simply do not buy one. Console yourself that traffic is not as bad as the Philippines - with too many cars with very small roads, and don't forget the pollution.

13. Taking two minutes to dress up Alex in sando (undershirt), shorts, and sandals — Here: underpants, long socks, normal socks, long pants, t-shirt, long sleeved shirt, sweater, gloves, winter coveralls, boots, hood. Minimum: 30 minutes. If he’s not cooperative, this takes an hour. Pagod na ako, hindi pa kami nakakalabas ng pinto (We’ve not gone out the door and already I’m tired)!

People in Europe always dress according to the weather. Unlike the Philippines with only summer and rainy seasons, Scandinavia has winter, spring, summer and fall.

12. Being able to blend in — Almost the entire indigenous population is blonde, and I get a sense that all women are at least 5′8″. People don’t stare (as we do at foreigners in Pinas, out of a naive curiosity rather than rudeness), but it is not possible to just pass through here unnoticed. This is especially uncomfortable for someone with a self-conscious streak. Of course there are deeper issues here: It’s about being in the minority. The last place where I lived abroad for an extended period was Singapore, where I could pass myself off as a local. There are very few Asians from the south, south east, north east, far east. Asia here means near east or middle east (think Turkey and Iran). Naku, the only time I see people of Chinese stock is when I’m in a Chinese restaurant (the waitresses). Here, there’s a Ministry of Refugee, Immigration and Integration Affairs, which tells me there are issues that need an entire government department to address.

Believe me, you're hardly noticed - you're just imagining yourself being watched. Denmark is very cosmopolitan in many ways. Next to Amsterdam, your Denmark is the next country who have the most immigrants from Africa, Middle East, China, Japan - and Philippines. You probably need to go out more often to "see" people and "be" with people.

11. Long mall hours — Everything is closed by 6 or 7 p.m. on weekdays, by 3 p.m. on Saturdays. And there’s nothing open on Sundays (except on eight Sundays of the year)! What happened to shopping after work? Or sitting in coffee shops till midnight? I’m told it’s because family life (being at home) is so central to living that commercial establishments have to let their employees go and enjoy it.

Unlike the Philippines, people in Europe "work" for a living, not entirely to "work to live". See the difference? Most Europeans will opt to spend their free time to be with their family and friends after work and not park themselves around the shopping malls killing their precious time. They say that the only "kind" of people hanging around malls all over Europe are those in social welfare with nothing to do but "be seen" round about, spending "their" money to no end until the next social check to come around.

10. People with a more friendly sense of personal space — Having grown up riding jeepneys (and buses on pre-MRT EDSA), I think nothing of being packed like a sardine in public transport, thighs squished together on both sides. One time I sat beside an old man on a public bus, I swear he gave me an elbow (okay, he might have had Parkinson’s). But there was another time when I reached over to press the stop button and the lady beside me raised her arms in a defensive move, like preparing for a karate chop (okay, maybe she was physically abused in the past). In a half-full bus, I see people electing to stay standing. Those who sit together in the two-seater row are friends, not strangers.

Read the newspapers why and you will understand. Danish people feels "invaded" by immigrants that they can't live their lives as they used to, thus the resentment against foreigners, and immigrants. And some immigrants are aware that they "unwanted". I feel that this observation lack common sense and better judgement. Your "Parkinson-comment" is way out-of-line, arrogant and insensitive.

9. Minimum fare of P7.50 — Here it’s P96.00 (that’s on buses/trains where you can have unlimited transfers within two adjacent geographical areas over one hour; but you still pay the same minimum fare even if you’re just going for a five-minute ride).

Europeans normally would opt to walk than ride a bus. The air is fresher in Europe than in the Philippines. It is said that those taking the short 5-minute rides are either old people or the lazy ones.

8. Temperatures above 20 degrees — This is a country where the average annual temperature is seven degrees Celsius. Haaaay! Apat na patong ng damit, nanunuot pa rin ang lamig. Bawiin ang Nobel Peace Prize ni Al Gore (Four layers of clothes and the cold still seeps in. Get back Al Gore’s Nobel Peace Prize)!

Give yourself a year in Denmark and you'll get yourself acclimatized - you'll soon realize you do not need your layers of clothes to survive a winter day.

7. Policemen — Never thought I’d say this, but I miss seeing policemen, armed security guards, traffic enforcers, and the “friskers” at the entrances of malls and LRT stations. Not that I long for their presence; it’s their absence that is disconcerting. In my one month’s stay here, I swear I’ve only seen one policeman (his partner, the driver of the police car, was female). At the police station where I had to report my presence, the staff were all women. There are lots of cameras on public transportation and highways, still, getting the personal touch is different (hahaha).

Policemen in Denmark are invisible to the good folk but very visible to the bad guys.

6. 12-percent VAT — That sounds good if you now have to pay 25 percent.

Given the high standard of living in Europe, most Europeans are trained to buy bare necessities - things that they need. They buy things that they want to pamper themselves and their lifestyle ... unlike most Filipinos who buy extravagant things they don't really need, it's just to show off.

5. McDo, Pizza Hut, Don Henrico’s, Jollibee, Max’s, and all restaurants who deliver even if you’re just ordering food for one. Corollary to that is having hot meals three times a day (at least). — Here, it’s buttered bread and yoghurt for breakfast, cold cuts sandwich for lunch, and a hot meal for dinner. Ack! Walang ginataang bilu-bilo na meryenda sa umaga at walang pancit malabon na meryenda sa hapon (No Filipino snacks in the morning and afternoon)!

Which only goes to show that Europeans don't go hungry. Less is more.

4. Going to the movies — This is a country with the most expensive movie theater tickets in the world, and the theaters are far from where I live (well not really far, but I would be spending more than minimum fare; add that to the cost of movie tickets.).

Not many Europeans go to the movies - they have homevideos in the confines of their homes, stack of DVDs and LCDs and loads of popcorns and hotdogs.

3. Filipinos — I’ve only seen one Pinoy (plus two on many previous visits) in the streets. This is not a preferred destination for overseas workers because taxes take out at least 40 percent of your income (closer to 60 percent total), and then there’s VAT. It’s great if you live here, retire here, and your entire family is supported by the social system (with free education and health care), but it’s near impossible to send money to relatives back home.

If you really want to meet filipinos in Denmark, go to the dockside (lots of filipino seamen there) or go to the local Philippine Consular Office and join a filipino group club.

2. Filipino the language — The sound of Filipino is heavy on hard T’s, K’s, D’s, and short A’s; what you hear is what you spell (and the other way around). Here there are all kinds of rolling R’s and soft D’s; H’s and V’s that are barely there. Sabihin mo nga sa akin kung paanong naging “mal” ang pagbigkas ng “meget” (Just tell me how “mal” becomes “meget” when spoken)? I’m told that everyone understands English, but they won’t volunteer that. They will speak their language until you say that you can’t speak it yourself.

I recommend that you try to learn Danish fast - that way you'll be much appreciated by the locals as one immigrant who's trying to adapt to your new homeland.

1. Daylight — Alas-tres pa lang madilim na (It’s just three o’clock in the afternoon and it’s already dark)! Now the days are at their shortest (supposedly seven hours, but it’s really not daylight, more like dusk all day). Losing light is like being hungry — I feel crabby, tired, and a bit sorry for myself. I never knew I subsisted on photosynthesis. There are gadgets for sale that simulate daylight. There’s a new alarm clock on the market that comes with a big wakeup light that’s supposed to be like the dawn. I think this is the hardest for me to get used to. It’s not about being afraid of the dark, it’s about not having the sun streaming through the windows when it should. Someone told me that when there is light, I should go out and soak up as much of it as I can. Pero kung balot na balot naman ako, eh di noo at pisngi lang ang pwedeng mag-sunbathing (But if I’m covered in clothes, it’s just my forehead and cheeks that get to sun-bathe)!

You haven't seen the rest of the winter season yet. Prepare yourself for 4 hours of light in a day - that's winter for you in Scandinavia. Goodluck!

it came, it conquered, it vanished into thin air!

well, that's christmas for you. it came, it went - just like that!

christmas' thought hanged on our heads for a good few weeks - it rattled and shook our existence ... some friends of mine say it even spooked them in their sleep - only to come and go just like that. what's interesting with christmas day itself is that it holds you down for a day (or two) for a small self-reflection, be with your love ones, tell tales of woes or successes, dreams and expectations, free your worries and inhibitions - or simply just be lazy in your own thoughts for the day.

how did you spend your christmas day? i'd say that for me and my family, it's just one regular day ... a time to be together. allow me to say this: it's "christmas" everyday in our household!

merry christmas everyone!

'tis the season to be jolly ... fa la la la la, la la la la! time flew us by ever so quickly! here's yet another christmas in all its glitz and glory. hey, this time around, have you ever thought of what makes your christmas merry and gay? christmas in itself for a good many people who celebrate it varies a thousandfold. for me, it did meant one or two things before ... of late, it changed a great deal.

have a very merry christmas, folks!

'tis the season to be jolly ...?

no kidding! really? come to think of it, this is the season to be stressed, worried and be anxious over 1001 things. one could not even track of everything that keeps running about one's head on to the last count. go figure!

don't you get stressed over the things you have to do just before christmas? forget about the list of things you need to buy, not only for yourself but also for family, relatives and friends - and strangers even! don't you get worried that you may probably not finish all the preparations you have planned or get things ready ahead of time?

there's a-plenty o' things to do, but is there really ample of time left for you to get it done? oh well, you and i both know for a fact that however stressed and stretched time had been for everyone else, things will certainly get done - whether you like it or not!

yup, 'tis the season to be jolly - come hell or high waters!

today is ....

... the first week of advent. in sweden, this symbolise the start of days of reflection ... self-reflection, that is. a great many Swedes tend to feel a bit anxious at this time of year. they make a big deal of the things they've done during the year and of things they did not manage to accomplish for this year. this is the time of year they assess their lives - was my life had been a success, or was it a total failure? do you really care?

... the day we start decorating our homes in the spirit of christmas. not in september, not in october and not in november - at least that is what is it like in Sweden. let those advent lights in every household windows brighten up the cold and dark winter nights!

... the day christmas activities as "julpyssel och mys" takes form in every household. this is a Swedish gathering among friends, relatives or acquaintances where they work together in creating christmas decors, cards, give-aways and bake cake and pastries in time for Christmas Eve - and all these are done over a cup of warm "glögg" (a Swedish variation of red wine, somewhat bittersweet topped with raisins and hasslenuts) and yummy gingerbread.

... the weekend most Swedes are to go shopping for christmas presents.

... the day i will definitely feel the stress of all the work i have to do to keep up with the Swedish tradition of celebrating the "christmas" they know. so, wish me luck!

friday, friday ... yehey!

isn't it a fascinating thought that tomorrow's already the 1st of december? hurray! to think that the year 2007 is coming to its close gives me mixed feelings - of relief and expectations, that is. i'm relieved at the thought that another year's to come to pass ... just the mere thought of having survived its challenges makes me feel so blessed already. a mixed rush of expectations awash me at the thought of yet another year of life to live - and to prepare myself to face and battle life's many challenges.

wow ... year 2008 ... don't you just love the thought of going through a new exciting phase of life in this great world? i so look forward to the new year ... but first, i'll have to say goodbye to the year 2007 - and that is in about 31 days from now! until then ... be happy and merry - regardless of how life is treating you these days. remember, every waking moment is a true blessing ... amidst pain or suffering, merriment or unsettling situations - it still is a blessing that you can feel all that. this simply is what life is all about!

about the philippines ...

i was swamped with questions about what's going on in the philippines today. as i am one who do not watch TV early in the mornings nor was i one who would browse any newspaper (i have stopped reading them altogether), i was the last to know of the recent attempt of another coup de état in manila (gezz, they never stop!) - sad eh?

i was not in the least surprised when i learned of this. i simply downplayed the whole thing as normal - "they do that in the philippines every 2nd or 3rd year - nothing new", i said. and that is how i close the subject about the philippines. i am tired of explaining how things "work" in the philippines to most europeans. they are smart enough to know the root of all this evil in the governing bodies of the philippines - that is from the top level down to the bottom level of leadership. need i elaborate? mention the name of the philippines anywhere abroad and the impressions you'd get are nothing but negativity - unless you pinpoint the very few areas where we excel: in some areas of arts (theater, music, film) and sports (boxing) - and yes, the OFWs ... these so-called modern day heroes of the philippines working hard abroad - not only to support their own families left in the philippines but is also the very ones who generates income for the philippine government to run the already hardhit economy of the philippines. and if i may add, very few filipinos know this!

i may be a filipina, but it's sometimes difficult for me to find words to describe the philippines. it is not the same philippines i knew then - things have certainly changed. some say they are better, but i hardly see them with my own eyes during my visits. having lived abroad gave me a whole new perspective about the philippines: its government, its people, its progress and its economic state - simply put, things are done very differently out there than what's the norm in most countries in Asia and Europe.

the philippines will always be my philippines - but i'm so sick and tired of the way things are being run out there ... i feel so helpless ... i feel frustrated. what should one do watching from a distance?

list of 20 things

the rule is simple:
list 20 things you want to say to 20 people but know you never will. don't say who they are. (this idea is inspired by Manang Lea's blog)

1) what do i care how you feel? you were hardly there for me when i needed you the most.
2) i hate you and all your pack of lies.
3) get a grip of your own life!
4) mind your own business ...
5) i hate the way you smirk when you do not approve of someone or something.
6) how could you abandon your children and leave them in the care of total strangers?
7) i wish you were my mother ...
8) how i wish i belong to your family ...
9) stop feeling so sorry for yourself ... you're not as handicapped as you think you are.
10) you can give me the money you hated so much ... i know of many great ways to spend them.
11) i'm sorry if you think i'm being selfish, but i need to be just that so as to keep your sorry ass work for your own living.
12) i am not your bank account
13) i forgive you, but please don't ask me to forget and simply move on - it's ain't that easy.
14) if you don't have anything good to say, shut up!
15) don't you ever think you know it all 'coz you hardly have all the facts - do some good research first before you open your mouth and give advices.
16) you and i had been fooled ... bigtime!
17) thank you for all the kind things you've done ... for the big and small sacrifices you've made ... for being there and taking the huge responsibility you didn't have to take in the first place.
18) you are living a hell of a life ... when do you bail yourself out? in your own pool of blood?
19) how can you give up on life so easily?
20) you are so blessed ... why the long face all the time?

boy, i feel so good after doing this list ... i'll have to do this again - but maybe with a different twist. i'll let you know when i've come up with something ... have a good read - no guessing!

what a great day spent today!

yes, i can truly say that much. i didn't spent time in the gym as i've earlier planned ... i let Alexander decide what we'd to for the rest of the day. and mind you, his plan turned out to be a wonderful idea.

we walked for more than 6 kilometers - from our house, through the forest woods and then off to its nearest shopping centre! and we actually had great fun ... he blabbered endlessly during our walk - he told me of stories he read from a book, we sang songs, we screamed our guts out during the walk through the woods (we know no one would hear us), we raced up and down the hill, even try to scare each other at the slightest eerie sound we hear in the woods (he told me of what we'd do if we see deers and bears - "play dead, mom!") - oh, the things we did were great fun ... we're simply "twosome, awesome"!

arriving at the shopping centre, we decided to take a hamburger (i can imagine he got very hungry after that walk) and we went around the toys and game shops. and you know what that meant ... yup, we ended up buying game discs for his Wii and Nintendo consoles. while at it, i insisted on getting him some new winter gear, extra trousers and shirts - he's grown so fast that most of his gear from last year don't fit him anymore. and he's really tall for his age!

lugging quite a lot of shopping bags, i was not really up for the 6 kilometer walk back home - so, we agreed to take the bus. he was just as bubbly on our way home - talking incessantly of what he'll do when we get home and humming his favourite tunes until we reached our final stop. as he jumped off the bus, he simply dashed off the sidewalk in half sprints - too eager to get home.

as i unload the stuffs we bought on the kitchen table, alexander just grabbed his discs and off he went to play. well, this is pretty much another day we spent with each other. when my hubby came home, alexander did a full account of what we've done and where we've been during the day - afterwhich both boys immersed themselves in the world of Wii. that's our day, folks!

let this bring out a smile on your face ...

this very clip brings out a smile on Alexander's face - whenever he's grouchy, i play this for him and his face would beam into a smile ... and then a giggle ... and then comes his booming guffaws. it's worth it!

some revelations ...

after breakfast today, my son showed me something that really surprised me: he wrote his aunt a short letter on his own! the letter read:

Dear Faster Åsa,
I miss you. I have been fine. I hope you are, too.
Love,
Alexander

it was a revelation for me that his young mind had started to compose such thoughts and actually put it down in writing - that's amazing for a mom like me to know that he can actually write! so, i asked him if he could write and show me something else - and he did!

News
An engine is lost. The engine cannot come out and he was very sad.

that's his own words! i might as well add to let you know that he love to play with toy trains - very much a fan of Thomas Tank Engine and Friends. he sometimes thinks he's one of them - that's role playing for you.

another revelation: he asked me to call him by his full name, Alexander, and not Alex. why? he explained that there's another boy called Alex in his class - and he's blond! he argued that he doesn't want to be called Alex because his hair is brown! great argument, huh?

next revelation: he wants his hair cut short all the time - he said he doesn't want to look like a girl in a long hair! i was told that at one time or another he'd been chased by some girls from another class who wanted to kiss him. all this time, he believed that he was chased because the girls thought he was a girl. such childlike innocence - so pure, so delightful!

these revelations are far too much for half a day as today ... but i sure am beaming inside out. wouldn't you?

i'm due to the gym by lunchtime and Alexander will be tagging along - who knows what other revelation awaits when we are done today (he's joining today's Kidzjam - a kiddie gym/play time while mommies are working out).

will you be up for more revelations later? we'll see about that!

time to go to bed ...

it's late ... almost 2am ... gotta sign off with a heavy heart (i would say a little bit) ... today, i'm very much a swede - sad and disappointed after last night's football fiasco.

natti-natt-natt ... sov gott!

nightmare start ... nightmare finish!

sadly so, that's just how i would describe the recently concluded football match between Spain and Sweden - WE LOST THE GAME!

THE SCORE:
SPAIN - 3, SWEDEN - 0

already in the first half of the game, you'd smell SLAUGHTER to the first degree at 2-0 in favour of Spain. yaiiikks! the 6000 - 8000 throng of Swedes who invaded Plaza de Mayor in Madrid, all in full banner, flag and costumes, were obviously very disappointed by the poor performance of the Swedish national team - as some would put it: A TOTAL DISGRACE!

well, win or lose, the Swedes never let it get over their heads - we still have a chance to nick one of those golden ticket to the European football tournament. at this point in time, back in Madrid, the Swedes are partying .... who would want to miss that warm reception and party ambience in Madrid? not a Swede! never!

hah ... just wait and see - we'll wake up from this nightmare pretty soon. Heja Sverige!

today's main event: football

you read right! and yes, we're all geared at home for the day's main event: Sweden's up against Spain for the qualifying round for a slot in the European Football Championships! the Swedes will definitely be glued on their seats as they watch their TV screens as this main event takes place in Madrid, Spain. i'll fill you in with more details later.

Heja Sverige!

count your blessings

in addition to my early morning thoughts, i was reminded one more time: count your blessings! no matter what the odds are, count your blessings! you will be surprised that there had been more great and wonderful things that had happened in your lifetime than you imagined.

live for today ... cherish the moments in your past (good or bad) ... imagine a better future - these are nice thoughts ... for you'll never know ... tomorrow may never come. such a morbid thought, huh? life in itself is full of surprises .... enjoy your life! i know i do - always!

early morning thoughts

yup, i do get some of them - like today!

i just chatted with my cousin who lives in Hong Kong ... just in passing. we said our "his" and "hellos" and "how-do-you-dos" ... just touching base. and then i asked her how's life treating her, to which she replied: "life is good...great food, great friends, great family, great holidays ... happiness guilt is sinking in ...but I should not complain... I balance it with the thought that "hey ! i don't have a career " and to that i replied: "great thinking - no, you shouldn't feel guilty having, and enjoying, all things great ... you are blessed and it's important that you take pride in that ... so, be happy some more!"

my cousin, bless her, is one wonderful and good-natured person. when she chose to be a stay-at-home and fulltime wife, i thought it was one brave thing to do. she gave up her own career and took charge of the homefront (with nanny help, of course) - with her hubby as the family's pillar and strength (in every sense of the word). with all that great things she's enjoying, she should be very happy, and she deserve to feel that way.

the so-called "happiness guilt" do creep in, at one time or another when things would go too good to be true. i would feel the same way, too, but never will i let it spoil the great feeling i am enjoying. i always make it a point to remind myself that i deserve whatever great things that come my way - it wouldn't have been served to me on a platter if i didn't deserve it, right?

so, to those who are happy and content, continue feeling that way - YOU DESERVE IT! to those who feel down and out, do not fret, your "happy factor" is probably lurking around the corner ... just wait and see.

knowing what i know now ...

... i would have been more careful about how i would express how i truly feel. i've been way too emotional when it comes to matters of the heart - not only in the boyfriend-girlfriend thing but more about my relationship with people i hold dear and love the most ... and that's basically my family and friends.

i wish i was more forgiving ...
even if the wrong deed done unto me left me the deepest scar and hurt me beyond comprehension;

i wish i was more understanding ...
even to the maddening point of scaring the wits out of me or when situations drive me beyond the true meaning of insanity;

i wish i was more caring and giving ...
even to the point of exhaustion that i forget to care and cater to my own personal needs;

i wish i was more knowledgeable ...
that i was better equipped with the right attitude on how to handle difficult situations even in the course of sending my self-esteem down the drain;

i wish i was more creative and imaginative ...
that i'd find ways and means to give more meaning to my life at its most trying times.

but then again, knowing what i know now ... i'm not so sure if i would change some of the decisions i've made in exchange for something else.

hmmmm .... maybe. on the second thought, maybe not. i think i would not change anything at all. i would like to think i would, but i know in my heart that i would not.

friday ... again!

and what do you know! it's friday once again and i dunno how i suddenly have some time to sit here and write ... this very opportunity is way too precious - that much i can guarantee you.

actually, i'm multi-tasking already, as usual. food's heating on the stove this early and i have my laundry machine going in full swing out in the pantry and the dishwasher is also working it out in the kitchen. alex promised to clean up his toy room (he's now working with the vacuum because i threatened to vacuum all his toys cluttered on the floor) and that he will tidy his bedroom (because as a rule: no tidying up, no more Wii-time).

honestly, it is such a puzzle to me that whenever i have my boys at home, the clean up tasks seemed endless. when i am alone for a week or two, i could keep the house spotless clean and have it stay that way. amazingly, as soon as my boys enters the house, the clutter would start from the doorstep leading to the kitchen and then the living room, to the hallway and then the bedrooms.

anyway, with my hubby working night shift tonight, that meant alex and i will have our cozy friday time after dinner - it will be movie night with goodies, crisps and chips. wanna come and join us?

on father's day ...

... that was celebrated yesterday in Sweden, we maintained a low profile - meaning staying home and got cozy and lazy. lunch was somewhat special - i prepared my famous barbequed chicken wings and tossed some chinese egg and ham fried rice ... my boys love it that way! later, during tea time, we had some apple pie topped with vanilla cream - it's heavenly delicious! it should be coz i made them myself.

the highlight of the evening? well, that would be when my son said his goodnight to his dad greeting him a happy father's day one more time. when my hubby joked and asked him where's his present, alexander beamed, flashed his sweet smile and said: "but daddy, i am your best gift ever!" - and to that, we all laughed in agreement ... it's quite true ... no, it's very true. how can one forget?

that particular moment was capped in a group hug ... how else?

idle week ... lazy days

another wonderful week of holiday over and done with! where did all those seven days gone? how was all those days spent? so sudden? way too soon? nah ... it's simply an idle week to wit. lazy days ... didn't you had one, too?

halloween ... wallowing ...

... not depressed thoughts, though! just reminiscing the good things that has happened to us as a family. and believe me, there had been plenty. life's merry-go-round kept us on our toes. we pretty much have our own activities to concentrate to - leaving our free days to really enjoy each other's company, like today!

it's mid-term holidays for most schools and i took the option to be free from work myself, just to be with my son and hubby. our day's itinerary is to stroll around Gothenburg Centrum - just get lazy and idle.

we walked the stretch of Avenyn, back and forth - window shopping, people watching, sitting by the bench on a warm autumn day in Gothenburg, which by the way is quite rare. it was pretty obvious to us that on a weekday as this, the city was all abuzz ... we're not the only ones enjoying the generous warmth of the sun and the light breeze.

now and then, i just couldn't help darting in and out of the shops - always ending up with a bag or two as i stepped out of the shop ... and as many of you would guess, my father-and-son-tandem would roll up their eyes in amazement.

towards the end of the day, we ended up in the National Library. soon enough, my hubby disappeared in the motor and car section of the library. alexander could not contain his excitement to go to the children's section. he loved coming to the library as it has a lot of things to offer - there is, of course, the computer and game section, the activity corner (for cartoon drawings, painting, button-making, origami, etc), the reading section where children have their own space - decorated and designed according to their favourite swedish characters and motifs. even parents have their own reading corner with their children - among the clutter of big and small bean bags and wide couches. the library staff are wonderful and very accommodating. and it is rather amazing how they can really get the children abide by the library's sacred rule of "silence". kids would even hush and remind each other to be silent.

yup, that's how we spent our halloween together ... each of us wallowed in our own thoughts and personal need as we enjoyed our own space to do something all on our own, yet still together as a family. we summed up our day together as one great family day ... simply having each other.

on letting go ...

early in the morning today, we've set off my good friend at the airport on her way back to Manila. she'd been with us for almost a week, and it was one lovely reunion. her whirlwind of a visit proved to be too short to really catch up on what has happened in our respective lives or the years that we had been apart from each other. moreso was the time enough for us to show her around Gothenburg and its beautiful archipelago down south of Sweden. but as we've also summed up afterwards, there will surely be visits the next time around ... it's just a matter of planning and organisation - already, i can't wait for it to happen. i wanted so much to keep her with me much longer ... the idea of letting go is truly one difficult thing to do - in whichever way you put it.

our precious gem ...

our alexander never cease to amaze us ... he makes us very proud! his achievements in school is always beyond everyone's expectations - us, as parents and that of the teachers.

today, we have met with his class teacher for his school evaluation and it's really heartwarming to hear how well he has done in school. there are, of course, some areas where he has to work and improve further - but for a boy in his age, we were told that he's special and truly gifted. and we do agree in that particular observation.

it's never a dull moment being around our son. as a parent, i am also challenged on how to deal with his curiosity ... his endless questions ... the way he asks too many hows and whys ... the way he argues his case ... thinking of things all on his own ... the way he interprets things and the way he observes certain situations ... you'd think he's no 6-year old! his loving and charismatic ways of showing how much you mean to him is very touching. not that he's my kid, but i know he's wonderful and he's beautiful inside and out. yes, we are proud parents to our precious gem.

one thing i have learned about parenting our precious gem is to always give him the facts - how ever hard or gory they may be if explained in a very diplomatic way, its true meaning and impact will never escape the mind and understanding of his curious mind. honestly, in more ways than one, he get to teach me a thing or two about myself as i try to get my message across in my own parenting ways. it sure takes two to tango - regardless of one's age!

stockholm rendezvous (summer 2007)

our visits to stockholm is always a welcome treat for us as a family. each visit is always a different experience. for my hubby, it's more of a nostalgia - stockholm is his childhood place. he has so many fond memories of this great city, and it will always be a part of ours as a family as well.

i have been asked too many times to post pictures of stockholm - so, this time i will oblige ... with pleasure! so, now, i am posting choice pictures from our stockholm rendezvous from this summer ... enjoy!

just in passing ...

last night, i found myself a new acquaintance over a chat on the internet. it was a great conversation i had with a total stranger. in the course of our message exchange, we can't help but note that we had some things in common - i'd say we ended up being mutual friends just like that! again, thanks to internet - who never sleeps ....

weekend blues

time really flies! here's another weekend at hand ... and this one's a bit different. my son's best friends, patrick and august, are coming over today at 10 am. alexander's very excited since it's been over two months the last time they got together for a weekend at our place. so, it's going to be a fun-filled day full of activities for the "threee musketeers".

last night, being a friday, we had our usual cozy time as a family - it was video night and we've got plenty on our plate to munch away ... saltines, nuts, dried fruits, chips, M&Ms and assorted marshmallows. we missed the fireplace to complete the ambience - it went kaput and had to be fixed, and very soon!

i have quite a lot of things on my mind as well. we're all excited in the family about the coming visit of my good friend from manila next week - she's to stay with us for a couple of days and enjoy the sights and going ons in Gothenburg. we already made a list of things to do while she's here - we just can't wait!

life, so far, has been treating us good in spite of our erratic and heavy schedules both at work and at home. this weekend is more or less scheduled for clean up in and out of the house. but for today, i made an exception for the "three musketeers" to play and mess things up indoors and have a good time - alexander has promised to help tidy up afterwards when his friends had gone home ... for me, it's a good compromise.

right now, i'm just making a mental note of how much things i have to get done before my friend arrives ... it ain't that much really, but remember my old list? yeah ... that one's very much around ... for better and for worse!

the freedom of choice

can one really forgive and forget? or do you forgive but not forget? or maybe not forgive, but how can you forget?

i have forgiven a lot of people who have wronged me, but it's just difficult not forget each ills and wrong doing they have subjected me to. i always thought, then and now, that it's my prerogative to forgive but not forget. it is not an option for me to forgive and just forget - the combination of these two simply don't add up. perhaps to some, but not to me. however, i have learned to let go of things i have no control of. not totally forgetting, just not let it bother me. how do i do that? i'm not so sure myself.

we all live in the shadows of our pasts - we all have our "ghosts" within our subconciousness. it is always the question of either you let yourself be held captive of your "ghost" in everything you do and everywhere you go, or you put your "ghosts" locked in your subconcious' mental box and leave it there in its own agony and self-destruction to wilt and fade.

we, as human beings, were blessed with the most precious gift of all - the freedom of choice. a lot of opportunities are presented to us in all forms, shapes and sizes - we are given the power and ability to choose. nobody's perfect - that much we all know. no choice is right or wrong. it is a choice ... and what's great about it is that it's something you picked and decided on. its consequence, whether good or bad, is your own doing. you have to deal with it, learn from it and put them into its right perspective. keep in mind that picking the wrong choice will not make your existence in this world crumble - it's a mere wake up call. it gives you another opportunity to correct the picture ... you improvise and make things better. to wallow over the result of your mistake or wrong choice will not help you feel better. get it over and done with - move on to the next challenge at hand.

we all live our lives according to the choices we made ... if you stumble on a heavy block, you should always be able to find ways to get through it - never let it be there in all of your waking hours ... act on it! make a choice .... live by it ... nurture it for your own peace of mind.

forgive and forget? make a choice on what works for you. when you've pick on the choice you want, get on with your life - live it to the fullest ... that's what i always do. i sure hope this would work for you, too.

finally, i met with my doctor!

yes, i met with my doctor today about my troublesome knee (from my scooter accident this summer). surprisingly, he gave me a clean bill of health - no broken bone, no torn ligaments ... just sores muscles, which would take some time to heal - some sort of a trauma to my fragile knee.

i was very relieved to hear that i have nothing to worry about - thank God! however, i was told to exercise my right knee as often as i could in order to build up some muscle activity in the clogged areas of my kneecap. i was told to play football and use my right leg in kicking the ball, or hop around with my right knee as often as i could.

in any case, i have a pretty good idea what to do. and, on a good note, i finally had one thing off my long list of things to do: doctor's appointment - over and done with!

i'm taking time to catch up ...

... in publishing some unfinished blog entries
you probably are receiving entry updates dating back summer, or older.

... writing more blogs
but are not likely to be finished today *sigh*

... reading your e-mail and comments
this is my only time available to do so - at 3.3 am in sweden!

... with gossips from family and friends back home
our dear cyberworld is keeping me company

... reading blogs of my online buddies
i've missed reading them and keeping in touch with what's happening outside my "world"

... with the latest update over the "Desperate Housewives"-brouhaha involving the Philippines and the Filipinos
i can't believe how some filipinos can't separate fiction from reality ... just a bunch of softies?

... with songwriting
yep, those thoughts that pop up in my head get its melodies

i certainly have an awful lot of things that needed my time and attention. how do one cope and catch up with these things? i tend to feel lost yet i try to take things in stride ... i'll get there when i get there ... i'm not one to rush to get there - i might stumbe and fall flat on my face and end up not getting things done, right? all in good time, as one of my friends say ... all in good time.

A Review: Big Brain Academy for Wii

I don't really know who we bought our Wii console for ... all the while I thought it's for our son, but then again it turned out to be just as addictive for grown ups as myself and my husband (playing tennis, golf, baseball, car races, etc) - and that frustrates our 6-year old son. So, we ended up buying extra controls so that we could play them together as a family, to the delight of Alexander (now his friends comes over for a game or two and they're in their own world of Wii).

We find the Big Brain Academy for Wii to be very child friendly and at the same time really stimulating for a very curious 6 year old. My son tends to challenge himself all the more to get better scores and he really strived to get a "gold medal" for each of the activities. This program trains one to count, visualise, identify, analyse and memorise according to the presented logic of interests to really exercise your brain.

The Mii section is particularly interesting for a child as they can create their own face characters to "go to school" in the make believe world of Wii Academy - I'd say, never underestimate the creativity of a child!

For our family, this console is truly an investment - not only for the joy and fun time we get together as a family, but also its help in stimulating the "big brain" inside our little Alexander.

when you are wronged ...

... you either make your voice heard and complain or be silent and keep your frustrations (and anger) to yourself. how to tackle this particular problem is in itself a personal matter - something you design according to your own needs and predicament.

i am writing this in reaction to what i have learned today about my son.

we were called to a meeting with his teacher early this morning. there were no specifics in the notice, and i was one who'd always think of the worse. i asked my son if there's something he'd like to tell me ... if there is something i should know about before i meet with his teacher ... i asked if there had been any incident - good or bad - that involved him in school. well, those line of thoughts are typical concerns of any parents, or at least what i believe.

arriving early in his school, we met a very apologetic teacher - concern written all over her face. and so we were told ....

- that an incident occured in the cloakroom after lunch yesterday
- that a girl punched alexander in the stomach and made him puked in the process
- that there was no provocation whatsoever from alexander's side
- that the girl admitted hurting him but could not explain why she did it

as the teacher was narrating all this to us, i can see the very tight and tensed expression on my husband's face. alexander never told us any of this when he came home yesterday. you can just imagine how surprised we were that it ever happened. we were told by the teacher that they are acting on the incident and they are also meeting with the girl's parents later that day. the children who witnessed the incident were somehow taken care of as they were shocked to see this - they were confused and was said to be very sad and sorry for what had happened to alexander.

the school, i must say, handled the situation exceptionally ... the way the meeting was called and arranged to how they dealt with the incident making sure we, as parents, were informed. we knew that we have to deal with the situation as it is and help him talk about the incident openly at home.

after dinner, we talked to him and asked him about the incident letting him know that we learned about it from his teacher. and so he told us pretty much the same thing as his teacher has told us - and he told us more, especially about the girl. he said that

- he didn't like this girl and has avoided her
- he didn't want to play with this girl because she's too loud
- he don't play with girls who doesn't like cars and trains (they play too much with dolls)

alexander also claimed that he was not really feeling well after lunch yesterday (he'd been ill the week before and it's his first day in school after having been away for a week). he said that while preparing and getting dressed for an outdoor activity in the cloakroom, the girl came up to him and just punched him in his tummy ... "and then everything i just ate for lunch came out" (his words not mine) ... "and i wanted to hit her back, but she's a girl" (again, his words).

listening to him was an eye-opener for us. our child has a character! it was heartwarming to know that my child has taken to heart every "words of wisdom" and teachings we have imparted to him, even if he gets hurt in the process. we always told him to be patient and gentle with girls (never hurt a girl) and never start a fight (just walk away). we somehow felt guilty.

after hearing his side of the story, we have now given him new sets of rules - right or wrong, we gave him the permission to get back, physically, IF, someone caused him physical harm. he promised to remember this next time. i sure hope he does - because no one's going to bully my son ... ever!

homefront update

On Alexander ...
he's doing OK now. still having that awful cold but he's just fine. he got worried and scared when he woke up and had difficulty with talking - he lost his voice! he's got runny nose and letting out odd sounds when he speaks ... must be real scary for one who's used to using the capacity of his voice to the max. for the last 3 days, he was unusually quiet . now that was a first!

On Janne ...
he's been very busy himself. work is keeping him occupied and there's, of course, house maintenance he'd add in his list of priorities this season. our chimney was damaged due to the new house built in our neighbourhood this summer (they did minor explosion and excavations and are liable by law to fix the damage caused to all houses within the 300m perimeter of their property). weather's changed and it's getting colder and colder - we want our cozy corner by the fireplace fixed!

On yours truly ...
i've been busy, busy, busy! need i really say more?

again, swenglish, anyone?

i always have a good laugh everytime i hear swedes mix their english with a dash of swedish. today, we treated alexander to a trip to Burger King for lunch - having been indoors due to fever and cold, we thought it would cheer him up one bit.

while father and son took their seats in the already crowded burger joint, i queued like everyone else. i have observed a mix of both local and tourist folk around me. while waiting for my turn, a scottish guy was being served at the next counter. i noticed that he was sort of flirting with this beautiful swedish girl behind the counter as he ordered his meal. the swedish girl was very accommodating and spoke to him in english very confidently and punched his orders as she exchanged banter with the guy - and then came the blunder as the guy was to pay with his credit card to which the over confident girl asked: "can i see your leg, please?" - i almost break into a guffaw ... the line in itself is a classic on its own! a very common mistake swedes commit when asking an english speaking person to show their identification card. you see, in sweden, in order to show proof of your identity, you are expected to show your "legitimation" - that folks meant your identification card in form of a passport, European ID, driver's license or bank ID. the swedish word "legitimation", which i believe is latin from the beginning, is oftentimes abbreviated or shortened by swedes - they say "leg" instead. you can just imagine the confused expression on the face of the scottish guy ... not really understanding what the girl meant, i can't help but butt in - i told him that he was being asked to show an identification card. boy, how he laughed! he said he was very willing to show the girl at the counter his legs! and swedes around the counter, being the swedes that they were, just smiled - and the poor girl on the other side of the counter went all red on her face.

balancing our lunch tray with nuggets, burger and chicken crisps, i weaved my way through the crowd to my hungry boys sitting patiently in a corner table. my husband asked what was the commotion at the counter was all about. so i asked him: "can you show me your leg?"

i guess you know the rest ... swedes, i love 'em!

pancakes, anyone?

what's with a pancake and a maple syrup? is it a religion to have them paired all the time? a pancake meal is not a pancake meal without the maple syrup. well, that's according to my 6-year old ... he refused to have pancakes without the maple syrup. and he's very keen on having mommy's american pancakes.

i get to make pancakes whenever my son gets this craving for one. he triggers this whole charade of making sure every ingredient is in place - flour, eggs, milk, vanilla sugar, margarine, vegetable oil and maple syrup. he always help out in the process and it, of course, would take much more time - but hey, it's fun having him in the kitchen blabbering.

american pancake is different from that of the swedish pancakes. swedes prepare and eat pancakes in a different and very nordic manner. swedish pancakes are thin - almost like french crepes and served half-folded on your plate. it is topped with whipped cream and lingonberry jam - always! it's a staple dish one can whip up anytime of the day - for breakfast, lunch or dinner. to have it as a complete meal, you can serve it together with ham and bacon as a side dish and, believe it or not, that's all you need to feel stuffed afterwards.

pancakes, anyone?

smoke got in my eyes ... literally!

you read right! last night, our smoke alarms went off - and i plead guilty to that one. i burned my toasts! silly, huh? such a simple task to complete and i blew it! you'll know why as you continue reading this piece ... and a lot more to go along with "smoke" in my eyes.

you see, alexander ran a high fever yesterday which prompted me to stay at home with him ... he specifically asked mommy to stay and give him some TLC (tender loving care) to get better. and with that, my mommy instinct went on high gear - give the best care ever to my son ... in short, pamper him! and mind you, pamper him, i did! i was at the beck of his call whenever he needs any small assistance - supply of milk, water, juice, hot choco, extra warm covers, read a book with him, watched videos with him, sang silly songs with him and shared big hugs even (he loves hugs) - pretty much all there is to it with TLC.

also, i noticed that after breakfast yesterday, he was a bit "clingy" that he'd hang around me all the time - whether in the kitchen or in the laundry room as i'd sort out our laundry ... he was always on the lookout as to my whereabouts. he made me promise not to leave him behind ... not to go anywhere else but be close by or sit by his bed even when he's sleeping ... he wants me close by ... all the time! so, i promised him that i will be right home where he wants me to be. to that he said, "good ... don't ever leave me again". his remark was sort of a surprise -then it struck me - i had been away whole week of last week on a business trip and our only communication was short phone calls in the morning before he went to school and in the evening to say our goodnights before going to bed. i suddenly felt very guilty. without much elaboration, i somehow understood how he must have missed me while i was away - physically, mentally and socially. that was my first "smoke" yesterday - i got teary eyed as i watched him rest and slept realising how he must have felt during my absence. i'm sure having his dad is pretty cool, too (i knew of their "secret" activities when i am not around), but it's a different thing when mommy's present in the house.

towards the afternoon, i baked bread and small pastries. my husband arrived from work just in time as they were done for teatime. after tea, my boys were both tired that i sent them off for a nap - i thought i'd have enough time to prepare some light dinner before eight. so, i busied myself in the kitchen and started preparing some light dinner - chicken fajitas stuffed in pita bread! this dish is particularly easy ... sauteed chicken in veggies and chili sauce plus other spices, and i only need to have the pita bread warmed up - either in the oven or the bread toaster. yup, as you have guessed, i chose the toaster - fast and easy, or so i thought! before i knew it, the simplest of procedure went haywire - my toast was burning! even as i've pulled off the plug, the bread still continued to toast and burn sending thick white smoke all over the kitchen and in the process sent off our smoke warning system. this was followed by a lot of swearing and cussing. and this was my second "smoke" for the day - choking, annoying and irritating!

this of course was followed by a lot of drama, drama, drama.

anyway, in the end, my husband simply tossed the bread toaster, with the burnt black bread, down the garbage bin - we just couldn't release the bread from the toaster ... it was stucked! well, we ate our chicken fajitas sans the bread ...

fastforward: the last "smoke" in my eyes yesterday was when i was about to tuck my son in for the night after reading him a story. he whispered in my ear: "i love you mommy. thank you for taking care of me today. i forgive you for burning the bread". i let out a laugh and was again teary eyed ... i can't believe hearing this from my 6-year old child! i gave him the warmest and tightest big hug i could muster ... very close to crying - gee, messy mousey me!

lunchbreak!

yup, it's a lull in between breaks and as i sip my cup of tea looking out of my office window, i realised that autumn has truly arrived - what with all the signs of rain and sunshine at the same time matched with the gushing winds under the grey, grey skies .... there's no denying the fact that autumn is making its presence known. the grass may be still be green but the leaves of the trees around us has changed its colours to red, purple and brown before it finally rest onto the ground leaving its trees bare and spooky ... ahhh, such wonderful magic of mother nature! soon enough the temperatures will fall to its freezing degrees faster than the blink of your eyes. until then, i'd enjoy the rest of the remaining warm weather - under the combination of rain and sunshine.

that, my friend, is but a little thought on my head during today's lunchbreak .... you can just imagine the other thoughts i have beyond that .... *wink*

tuesday's child ...

that alone is just isn't me .... there is always something sorrowful about us as individuals in spite of the wonderful graces that come our way. nobody's perfect ... we've heard that far too many times. but one has to remember that we live our daily lives according to the choices that we make. the great intervention from "above" presents us with opportunities where we are given the choice to choose and make decisions all our own to live by.

i have lived my life knowing there is a helping hand that guides me in choosing the right decision. i may have chosen the wrong path or made the wrong decision at one time or another, but i did not fret nor regret ever falling into that pit - it's a learning process, at least that's how i'd think of it to be. it can only go two ways: never to commit the same mistake again or fall into its trap over and over again. it simply is a choice one has to make.

i always try to remind myself that we, as an individual, are born different from the other. the nursery rhyme below is one of my favourites.

Week of Birthdays
(Monday's Child)

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child that's born on the Sabbath day,
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

try to look at it this way:
we are born to our parents ... we are who we are, not only by our choosing but what we want ourselves to be.

have a fun day today .... i know i will regardless of the new challenges that awaits me. ciao!

monday again!

did you miss me? i sure hope so! i did miss writing my blogs. the problem is that everytime i get myself started, i get distracted and log out without finishing what i have started - bummer!

it's amazing how there could be a lot of things that needed to be done but left with very little time to do them all. accomplishing things certainly is on top of our priorities - getting it all done is just another thing. as i've said, i maintain quite a long list, none of them were close to being started, much less finished.

today is another monday .... and as this week progress, there will be new things to add on to my list ... and maybe yours, too. on my lazy days, i tend to do just that - get lazy, what else! i simply put aside my list and forget all about it altogether. i know in some way, somehow, that list will end up staring at my face again. hmmm .... oh well, there will be more mondays to think about it, right?

ho-hum ... gotta hit bed now. i'm just rambling away my thoughts - i guess i'm just dazed ... i'll continue my rambling thoughts in my sleep --- goodnight!

a breadth of fresh air ...

at least that is how i would describe the last two days. yup, with the Amsterdam conference over and done with, i feel quite rested during this weekend - all the work efforts and preparations we've put in have paid off. everyone's pleased, i am pleased and i have to move on to yet another challenging projects waiting up for me. rest was what i did for most of the time during this weekend ... i needed it badly - it's vital to recharge my energies, you know. after my week-long stay in Amsterdam, it's indeed a good feeling to be back home with my husband and son again ... home sweet home!

with a heavy heart ...

... not mine but that of the swedish sports fans, the swedish team failed miserably in the recent athletic competitions in Japan - and with them, the sport enthusiasts cursed and sighed with a heavy heart. oh well, they will not fret that long - there will always be a new sport to get themselves engaged intensively right after one finishes ... and the football season coming along is just one of them.

... however, apologies are in order for being inactive in writing anything on my blog. my usual excuse still stands - I'VE BEEN BUSY! you see, for most people in Europe and all businesses around, autumn is the busiest time of the year ... and i am not an exception to that. almost every week, a big convention is held in every major European country attended by people from all over the world. just for week 38 alone, the same week we are to hold our own European product launch in Amsterdam, a diabetes convention will also take place in Amsterdam - making it impossible to make any hotel booking within Amsterdam Centraal since its organisers and participating countries has blocked most of the hotels for their respective delegations. in Copenhagen, an international design convention will also hold their design showcase that same week, whilst in Paris, another big convention is also on board - and the same problem there! on the homefront, autumn is also the time of year you prepare your grounds for the coming wintertime - meaning lots of mowing in the garden, clean-up of the windows from the outside, "dusting" and check-up of the chimney (you don't want it to fail during winter, right?), and of course, the need to sort things that need storing for winter or if you are to leave some things to endure wintertime. hey, those are only the things you have to do outdoors - need i elaborate on the things i need to sort out indoors? phew! just the thought of it makes me shiver! HELP!

... i need to really make some priorities, but as you know very well, it is not at all easy. sometimes you'd feel like you've made a good one and then later you'd realise how wrong you've been - that is one awful feeling. but then again, being a positive thinker that i am (at most times i know that i am), i always try to look at things on a brighter light and consider them nothing but small "slips" that had happened - and i would like to emphasize on the word "nothing" since great or small slips has to be treated as "nothing" and not make a big deal out of it. in this manner you will be able to fix the problem and easily manage to make things right. so, why did i ever brought this up? i think you know why? if not, i'll tell you more - later, that is.

i have too many things i've listed in my priority list .... and i've done none of them so far. but slowly, i'd get that list empty - it simply has to be done!

all by my lonesome

yup ... at least for now. my insomnia is at it again and sleep is somewhere out there ... it just missed my doorstep - and here i am ... waiting. it's way past midnight and i'm undoubtedly perky and very much awake ... but thanks to cyberworld that never sleeps, i have some company!

i know i haven't written much the last couple of weeks - i've been busy, you know - VERY, VERY BUSY. both work and the homefront's been eating up most of my precious time. i can't even find a suitable date to pamper myself with my girl friends for a spa weekend! **sigh** things had been crazy lately - not that it's any of a surprise ... autumn and spring are normally the busiest time of the year for me. the school term has just started and my son's new schedule in both school and extra curricular activities are on the roll and mind you, working our schedule around his activities is one of our key tasks at every single school term. sometimes, it's not at all that easy - especially when i am travelling and being away for a straight week! thank goodness for my hubby who's been very supportive and understanding. the combination of being a wife, a mother and maintaining a career is truly one balancing act - you'd go down the drain if you miss your step along the way. workwise, i feel like drowning with the mountain of work i have to do, but soneone's got to do it - and that would be moi!

i'm in the middle of the preparatory works for our planned product launch in europe. being in charge of the smallest of details concerning the conference workshop, you can just imagine the amount of work, and stress, i have to deal with. the weird thing about me is that, i work even better under pressure - i am more focused and have this attention to details. but, however organised i had been during summer preparing the work briefs and script for this activity, it came as no surprise to me that my initial work had to go through major revisions to adapt them to some new ideas my colleagues had thought of during the holidays - typical eh? but revised the plan, i did. already the first week i had returned from my 10-days-summer-holiday, i was sent to do a "site inspection" to the location of our conference - in Amsterdam! i thought right there and then: "here we go!" - the mad chase for a perfect product launch has begun!

to go on a "site inspection" is like having been sent to a battlefield - at such, i was armed with Amsterdam's street maps, the hotel's meeting room layouts as well as its room accommodations, restaurant and conference specifications and a long list of "requests" for the event planner to cover into its smallest detail. the visit to the hotel was a challenge in itself ... there are a lot of things to do there as it needs a lot of "facelift" in terms of lighting. you see, as most hotels in Europe are old buildings, there's very little room for renovations and refurbishments since these buildings are treasured landmarks and are restricted for major changes on its exterior and interior structure. it's always been a challenge for me to make sure that all our specifications be met - it's vital to the success of each conference. in our field in the world of marketing, we think big ... we think outside of the box ... we maximise the use available to our freedom box - ughh! forgive my marketing speech as i tend to get too fired up. anyway, i made mental note of how things should look like, made a list and started making plans on what to do next. i was exhausted when i came home from my day visit from Amsterdam.

tomorrow's another day ... do catch up with me.

the IAAF 2007-fever in Osaka, Japan has begun!

yes, sport-fans! the heat is on! it is not possible for one in sweden to miss this particular event - everyone's glued either infront of the TV or their radios. this is one national event so spectacular that missing it would make one think you're probably mad not to be part of it all.

the International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF) for year 2007 officially opened yesterday, the 28th of August, in Osaka (Japan). as early as 12 noon yesterday, i have been asked how to hook up some computers to the local TV stations covering the sports event - mind you, in the office! it is somehow expected that i should know how to address this particular request ... so, i made sure i got everything covered for this weeklong activity - i helped set up a TV and wide screen canvass in our meeting point area (it's an open lounge space we use for spontaneous meetings) - and truly, this was a big hit! i posted the tournament schedule for my colleagues to see which day and time the swedish national team will be competing and i left the monitor on mute the whole day ... it's an unspoken rule to have TV monitors mute or low in volume so as not to disturb people at work at the adjoining rooms. also, people passing through the meeting point square would stop and watch for a while. believe me, during competitions where sweden is represented, the square gets packed ... the TV monitor's volume is up ... emotions run high ... cheering and cajoling gets very festive ... throw in some nervous laughs and facial expressions, prolonged ooohss and aaahhhs -- those are just a few of what you'll get to see (and hear) from the sports' fans. such time-out from work as this is always a welcome excuse - and is tolerated in our office .... and you're crazy to miss such a gathering.

sadly though, most competitions today resulted 4th placings for most of the swedish athletes. need i describe how everyone felt? you guessed it right!

coping up with reality

it has been a while back since i have written my last post. an awful lot has transpired the past weeks - it was quite chaotic both at the homefront and that of work. i juggled my time furiously attending to the smallest of details that needed priority that i take my day's checklist of things to do in my sleep! what a nightmare!

i was back at work last monday and it was not much of a good start - i felt totally at lost ... it took me a while to remember my door code, or even my computer password. my next door colleague, bless him - congratulated me and gave me some word of encouragement, "you sure had a great and relaxed holiday to forget everything about work - that's healthy", he says. with that insight, i wasn't quite sure whether to agree or disagree: I HARDLY HAD MUCH OF A HOLIDAY!

alexander had been off my hands for a week now - he's vacationing with my in-laws in Tomelila, and he's sure having a great time bonding with his aunt and grandma ... i'm pretty sure he's being spoiled and pampered - to the max, if i may add. for now, that's his reality ... and i am coping up with mine - work, work, work and more work! well, i'm sure i'll get used to the idea of absorbing work pretty soon ... you can bet on that!

the mad world of Wii ...

a backgrounder:

we have a standing rule with alexander whenever we go to any shop: you can stop, browse and inspect things closely but mommy and daddy is not obliged to buy them for you. we try to instill in his young mind that he cannot have everything ... he cannot buy everything he fancies ... that one should spend money wisely ... to buy only things that is of utmost necessity. to this rule, he abide with no objection. he knows that when we say no, it means no. so far, this rule has applied ... not all the time though - but still ...

****

i never really understood the madness about this Wii-games when it was launched ... even my husband was shaking his head and dismissed it as nothing but hype. however, our very own impression about Wii changed when we saw our son played this game with gusto during one of our visits to Media Markt, a retail electronic shop - they had this kiddie corner where kids can amuse themselves with games and other activities where parents can leave them unattended while they are busy shopping. while we have introduced alexander to multi-media and interactive computer activities, we were not really into any computer games or the like.

yes, we were surprised to see how he handled the game and saw that gleaming delight in his eyes. when his Dad sat beside him, he even gave him instructions on how to deal with the joystick controls. when they finished, my son looked very satisfied and was beaming from ear to ear - "mommy, i won!", he said. as we were leaving the play area, alexander gave the Wii-big screen one last look and then with pleading eyes he asked, "can we come back another time?". to that i said yes, and it sure sent his face smiling.

when we got home, alexander talked about the Wii-games non-stop ... we just know where all that was leading ... and so we waited. over dinner, the pinch hinting started ... "mommy, you think i can add the Wii-games in my wishlist for Santa this year?" ... subtle, huh?


yeah ... everyone's mad about Wii ... my son got the bug, too. after a couple of discussions with my husband, googgling and trying to understand what the game was really all about, we finally bought one ... and made alexander happy and triumphant that he exclaimed: "now i don't have to ask Santa for Wii this christmas!" ... and then added, "can i ask for a battery powered train instead?" - hah!

harvest time ... again!

we just got back from one of our strolls out in the nearby forest when, once more, alexander's very observant eyes caught some new fruits to pick - plums! i didn't even know that we have them up front of the house ... boy, was he so keen at picking them at once. upon closer inspection, they prove to be the best of its kind - murkish red, sweet and delicious, too. i get to like our new house more and more. it always springs a surprise to our naked eyes every once in a while. as you have already observed, we try to document every single one of them. august 15 marks our first year in the house ... gee, how time flies!

feast your eyes on these!

great men, great artists ...

sweden pride itself of great many artists ... and sadly, one after the other, like most people do, they perish in either nasty accidents or poor health - better yet, old age.

i was saddened that half of this year alone, the likes of Ingmar Bergman, Påvel Ramel and Lars Forsell have passed away. these three gentlemen had, in one way or the other, touched the lives of a great many lovers of art and poetry, music, film and cinematography.

who have not encountered Bergman in their lifetime? he is a legend among legends in the world of film and cinematography across the globe. his works speak for itself - they are his legacy to those who have embraced the complexities of the art of film, cinematography and acting. his works are true remembrance of his wit, talent, humour and depth not only as an individual but as a true lover of his profession. bergman could draw out this uncharacteristic artistry from within him and share this unselfishly to his public. he was one who do not care how you would interpret his work - they are simply there to behold and grasp its meaning according to your liking. challenged will one be, and to challenge your mind and creativity was what bergman always aspired for.

and who is påvel ramel? he's one of my favourite novelty artist - he had dabbled in almost everything in the field of music, film, poetry, books and many other interests. i love his great sense of humour, his passion in everything he did, his drive for excellence and his love in living life in its simpliest but colourful form. påvel ramel was such a character to reckon with. i will miss his toothy laughs and smile on screen ... he was such a delight to watch on TV as well as having a chat with him in person --- it sends a tingle on your spine and your worries and anxieties go away by simply being around him. he has a very formidable presence one cannot miss. his humour is very transparent in his novelty songs - they are easy and catchy ... the melodies and tunes of his songs stays in your head --- wicked and always teasing that you would tend to hum them in your head or out loud ... how else am i supposed to describe Påvel and his works? they are simply the best - they're great, they're fantastic!

and what about Lars Forsell? he's a phenomenal poet ... a "voice" to reckon with. his swedish works were translated in many languages - quite a feat for such a very mellow and humble man. other than reading Astrid Lindgren's children books when i was still learning the swedish language, i was hooked into reading his short poems ... and they are sweet reference about love, hate, acceptance and ode to life itself. i was moved on how he described life using analogies in form of nature and its habitat concluding in afterthought how one should be grateful of the graces of one's existence.

ah, these great men ... great artists of their time ... i will always cherish the experience of having been one of those who have come to know them in my lifetime --- their work, passion and love of art and life itself have built an endless thread of images worth a treasure ... they will always linger in my mind.

morning has broken ...

hmmmm .... that was just the first part of the song my son loves to sing. and he's learned a whole lot just by listening to songs and music as played in most films he'd seen. if he likes them songs, he'll end up watching the film over and over again - or should i say, play the part with the particular song he likes the most over and over again. yesterday was no exception. we had a DVD-time together. i introduced him to two classical films, Mary Poppins and The Wizard of Oz. and as always, i sat and watched the film with him as he's to see this for the very first time - mostly for support to be able to explain the concept and content of the film to him. otherwise, he would have his own interpretation of the film - nah, it will all then be noot ... it's just plain wrong. one should not, ever, undermine the faculties of a child's creativity and imagination.

well, our cozy time in front of the telly went fine. he loved both films and its characters. he loved the musical arrangements of songs sang in each films. and as was the case through many generations, he remembered songs as "just a spoonful of sugar" (Mary Poppins) and "somewhere over the rainbow" (The Wizard of Oz) the most. in fact, he sang it with glee this morning as he went up from bed. i wouldn't be surprised if he'd ask me to see it again today. oh, my son already have a recall of the films, too. last night, he told his dad that he'd seen the film about the "nanny with the magic flying umbrella" and "the story of the lost girl in the magical world of Oz with her friends who doesn't have a heart, a brain and the scared lion" - that's what i'd call memory retention, or shall i say a typical select memory from a child?

yup, morning has broken here ... i just thought i'd write this down - another sweet thought playing in my head spent with my child. actually, i have plenty of them. nothing wrong in sharing, isn't it? well, who knows what would happen during the rest of the day? one day at a time ... that's the rule of the living ... so, until then ...

taking time ...

my 6-year old son was beyond himself when he discovered that the raspberry-bush by the backyard porch has produced a great many berries to pick. he decided that we pick them all, that i'll make a cream out of it and bake his favourite cheesecake. twas a delightful thought! so, the mom in me gave in and we spent time picking as many berries as we could. having done so, he patiently sat close to the kitchen bank and watched as i wash the freshly picked berries and prepare them before his very eyes. and so the messy work began under his scrutiny. taking time to do an activity such as this is very precious to both of us - it is our time together. my alex loves to help around the kitchen - and he was concerned about my knee and kept asking if i'm okay. funny how this sweet little angel could think that mommy's that helpless - i feel embarassed and ashamed.

the cheesecake was served as dessert after dinner that night. the end-product of our little "project" surely gave my son one very satisfied grin on his face. he was glowing as he smothered the cheesecake lovingly with the cool raspberry-cream and tasting it in his most exaggerating way sent the raspberry-cream drooping from his lips. he was a delight in itself to see!

new beginnings ...

i have always thought of each day as new beginnings ... a time for one to embrace a fresh start for yet another day to live to its fullest. today is one of those days ... one very special "secret" sacred to me and my brood is finally out in the open. it had been a burden, yet it's one thing that binds us together. after all that has been said and done, we can now move on, out of the shadows and into the light of truth. it had been an awakening waiting to happen - i'm glad it's over and done with. in retrospect, this very experience has given me ample of time to reflect and respect nature to take its course and submit to whatever consequence it would bring us. it also allowed me to develop into the kind of person that i am now - with no regrets, only remorse. again, i can only count my blessings as i embark into a new beginning - one day at a time, with plenty to thank for at the end of each day.

as summer draws to a close ...

... my mindset is now trying to focus on the work waiting for me. summer did come and went as it pleased. i hardly felt relax this particular summer - what with all the work i had to do when summer was at its peak, and then my unfortunate accident happened three days before my scheduled summer holidays which then left me nursing my awful and bloated right knee during my free days from work ... what a feat, eh?

here’s a pretty good picture of how i have spent my free days so far – when i’m lazy, that is. today’s just another day: i get up in the morning, go through my morning rituals (grooming, breakfast, reading the morning paper, etc), laze through midday, get lunch, continue to laze through the day and before you know it, there’s dinner and then afterwards, what’s left pretty much later on will be reading a book or magazine as i await to doze off into dreamland and into a real good night’s sleep.

this summer, due to unavoidable circumstances, i only have 10 days of holiday – or shall i say 10 days away but not exactly free from work. my embarrassing “scooter accident” proved to be a nuisance as i could not do much of the activities i had in mind, much more the ones i have planned weeks in advance. i spent most of my so-called holidays dragging my right leg around the house feeling stupid and sorry for myself. whilst my hubby and son are having a great time outdoors biking, swimming and trekking around the park forests and cliffs, i opted to stay home and nursed my sorry knee – i felt so pathetic but i simply can't enjoy much of anything when i'm in so much pain, or so i believe myself to be. i also realised how short my temper could be when teased about how slow i move about – getting in and out of the car had been excruciatingly painful. i know fully well that all that teasing is my hubby and son’s way of pepping me up ... well pushing me to the limit of getting it over and done with – but it sure get to my nerves that I easily get cross and irritated. i am not actually that handicapped, who am i kidding ... it's just that i believe i have the right to be grouchy and touchy.

i hated the confinement of the couch and the comfort of soft pillows under my stretched leg during the first four days. i wanted to get moving – the short and well-loved promenade around the neighbourhood was simply out of the question ... my horrible and gorged knee was simply not that agreeable and it was not a pretty sight to look at ... i hate the look i get from both acquaintances and strangers i meet in the process. somehow i’m glad the accident happened on a summer’s day when wearing shorts and skirts to move about is a welcome excuse. wearing jeans and slacks or anything like that is totally a painful thought - hah, with my bloated and engorged knee? no, thank you.

but hey, pity me not for i made sure i had quality time spent at home ... yes, by just being lazy, and difficult. i was not all too willing to give in to pain and suffering, i busied myself with small chores around the house, caught up with my book reading, organising my cluttered desk, writing my journals, weaving my thoughts in writing and composing songs, playing my guitar - just doing the light stuff, feeding my fancies and self-proclaimed "freedom" from my ordinary tasks at home. i didn't even have to cook - my hubby took over that part of the task, not because i can't cook, i just don't feel like doing anything, so, we're fed with "take-outs" for a week now: food boxes from the thai, chinese and japanese restaurants. believe me, i can't and won't complain ... perhaps later. right now, i feel more than pampered according to my own liking.

summer's soon over and in a week from now i will have to go back to work. what a thought! right now, i will try to enjoy that bit of sunshine from my porch with a cool drink of lemonade and a bit of chocolate cake - life is good and i love living this life!

a personal statement ...

a personal statement for year 2007 .... i promise to be more casual, spontaneous and enjoy each minute in every hour of the day. i believe there is a good measure of reason, and purpose, for our very existence as there are hurdles and frustrations along the way to test our faith. i will always endure and weather the eye of storms that come my way ... never will i ever give up hope until i prevail victorious in each battle i take. they say simple things in life are free ... it is there to be cherished and nurtured as special gifts whose value is far greater than anything else altogether ... these are humbling treasures i am eternally grateful for ... i count my blessings at the end of each day ... i hope you do, too.

peek-a-boo
my pride and joy

life is good!

i hate bees!

two bumble bees almost killed me! at least that was how i'd look at it when i had this freak accident with my scooter on my way home yesterday. i was really annoyed at myself for letting this happen - and i just hated the bumble bees! oh well, this is not the first time i got "attacked" by bumble bees while driving my scooter. they probably hate me just as much? grrrr!

yesterday afternoon, i finished work early and headed home with my scooter. i took the same route pretty much concentrated of the traffic around me - i didn't expect two huge bumble bees to fly straight into my helmet's half-open visor and dance excitedly between my eyes! this was when i lost total control of my scooter as i instinctively tried to wave them off my face with my hands and lost momentary focus on the road that sent my scooter swerving to my left - i was lucky to avoid the roadside wall by a margin. i don't exactly remember how i landed on the grassy side of the pavement - only that i was too shaken to even get up. i was more worried about my bike (and my computer that was left hanging on the right side of the bike). i was thankful for the two other bikers who stopped and helped me sit up - it was then that i felt that my right knee went numbed. i immediately noticed the tear on my jeans (mind you, they are new!) and scrape on my right foot. otherwise, i felt ok as i could feel all my bones intact and in its right place - only that my whole body was shaking so bad - i can't even remember how to turn off my scooter and just watched it purring on the sidewalk. another motorist stopped by to check if i need an ambulance - what good samaritans! i didn't exactly felt any need for one but i did ask for help to lift my bike upright and check if it's still working and able to be driven back home. after inspection, i chose to drive home with my bike, with a little objection from my "rescuers" who recommended that i seek medical assistance at the nearby hospital. i declined apologetically, thanked them and then drove away.

day 1 - fresh wounds

day 2 - ballooning knee

halfway home, i felt how my right knee numbed all the more that i could hardly feel my foot - it hurt like hell! when i finally reached our driveway and saw my hubby working on his car, i felt relief - home at last! my hubby helped me off the bike and he parked the bike inside the garage. when he learned of what happened, he just laughed and said: "next time, leave the bees alone." - well, that's his way of saying "thank god, you're safe back home" ... that's my hubby, my "rock" on this crazy world of unexpected circumstances.