when you are wronged ...

... you either make your voice heard and complain or be silent and keep your frustrations (and anger) to yourself. how to tackle this particular problem is in itself a personal matter - something you design according to your own needs and predicament.

i am writing this in reaction to what i have learned today about my son.

we were called to a meeting with his teacher early this morning. there were no specifics in the notice, and i was one who'd always think of the worse. i asked my son if there's something he'd like to tell me ... if there is something i should know about before i meet with his teacher ... i asked if there had been any incident - good or bad - that involved him in school. well, those line of thoughts are typical concerns of any parents, or at least what i believe.

arriving early in his school, we met a very apologetic teacher - concern written all over her face. and so we were told ....

- that an incident occured in the cloakroom after lunch yesterday
- that a girl punched alexander in the stomach and made him puked in the process
- that there was no provocation whatsoever from alexander's side
- that the girl admitted hurting him but could not explain why she did it

as the teacher was narrating all this to us, i can see the very tight and tensed expression on my husband's face. alexander never told us any of this when he came home yesterday. you can just imagine how surprised we were that it ever happened. we were told by the teacher that they are acting on the incident and they are also meeting with the girl's parents later that day. the children who witnessed the incident were somehow taken care of as they were shocked to see this - they were confused and was said to be very sad and sorry for what had happened to alexander.

the school, i must say, handled the situation exceptionally ... the way the meeting was called and arranged to how they dealt with the incident making sure we, as parents, were informed. we knew that we have to deal with the situation as it is and help him talk about the incident openly at home.

after dinner, we talked to him and asked him about the incident letting him know that we learned about it from his teacher. and so he told us pretty much the same thing as his teacher has told us - and he told us more, especially about the girl. he said that

- he didn't like this girl and has avoided her
- he didn't want to play with this girl because she's too loud
- he don't play with girls who doesn't like cars and trains (they play too much with dolls)

alexander also claimed that he was not really feeling well after lunch yesterday (he'd been ill the week before and it's his first day in school after having been away for a week). he said that while preparing and getting dressed for an outdoor activity in the cloakroom, the girl came up to him and just punched him in his tummy ... "and then everything i just ate for lunch came out" (his words not mine) ... "and i wanted to hit her back, but she's a girl" (again, his words).

listening to him was an eye-opener for us. our child has a character! it was heartwarming to know that my child has taken to heart every "words of wisdom" and teachings we have imparted to him, even if he gets hurt in the process. we always told him to be patient and gentle with girls (never hurt a girl) and never start a fight (just walk away). we somehow felt guilty.

after hearing his side of the story, we have now given him new sets of rules - right or wrong, we gave him the permission to get back, physically, IF, someone caused him physical harm. he promised to remember this next time. i sure hope he does - because no one's going to bully my son ... ever!