Moving on ... moving on ....

What does the salad say when you open the fridge?

"Close the door ... I'm dressing!"

Oh well ... that's just one of the jokes Alexander shared a couple of weeks ago. He knows exactly how to make his Mommy laugh ...

It's been weeks now since my brother Jojo died. I'm still sad ... affected ... but I know we all have to move on. Again, I'd like to take this opportunity to say thank you ... especially to Jojo's friends. Words are not enough to express our family's gratitude to all of you who helped every step of the way to bring him home.

* * * *

I've been back to work since last week. It felt strange, yet familiar. I simply got back to my old routine.

Jan's still on holiday and had been babysitting Alexander this week as he busied himself with his sail classes. This afternoon, we attended Alexander's end-term rites at the LSS boatclub. He was beaming with pride as he received his diploma ... and we are just as proud. We never thought he'd come this far ... he enjoyed it very much that he expressed his wish of continuing to the next level of sailing this Fall. I'd like to think this sailing course really boosted his confidence and sense of independence. Imagine him manning his Optimist boat all on his own out sea as he braced himself at the mercy of the winds - it was such a sight! He did got a few bumps on his head whenever he's slow in maneuvering his sails but he said he doesn't mind at all. Alexander was so encouraged to practise and even do better. Looks like it would be "holidays at sea" next summer for the Eriksson Family.

Life goes on ... we look forward to great things ahead of us ... come hell or high waters as they say. I keep reminding myself ... "think positive" and "count your blessings".

About Jojo ...

I have promised some family and friends that I will post some updates on Jojo's funeral arrangements here, and I am keeping that promise.

- A necrological service was made for Jojo last Thurday, 6 August, in Kalibo, Aklan and was attended by his good friends and colleagues at work. Jojo's high school friends were also in attendance. I heard how wonderful the service went and I can't thank everyone enough for your involvement and participation in the preparations and arrangements for Jojo's necrology.

- Yesterday, 7 August, Jojo's remains was brought home to Palawan as his final resting place. There will be a vigil for another 3 days to give our family and relatives the opportunity to say our goodbyes to Jojo. Interment is scheduled on Tuesday, 11 August.

Again, thank you for all your prayers for Jojo. Rest assured, he lived a full life. Short as it may seem to have been, but nonetheless meaningful ... to us his family, and to you as his friends. Remember not his passing but his passion for life and all the good times spent with him when he was living. I know he'd like to be remembered in that way.

In grief and in remembrance ...

Today, 1 August 2009 at 8am, my brother Jojo, passed away due to heart failure. It was one unexpected news ... I felt grief deeply. He was only in his 40's.

Earlier this June, we had a lengthy talk over the phone. I asked him how was his work at his new assignment, his new apartment, his new found independence. He said he was doing great and that he was relieved to find his own space and time for himself. We talked about his future plans. He talked about his holiday plans, going on leave for a holiday in Hongkong - I invited him to come and visit me in Sweden instead of Hongkong. He said he is contemplating of eventually applying for a job overseas because he felt he is ready to do just that in a year or two. I gave him pointers of all the possibilities and opportunities of working abroad or anyplace else. Soon after, I helped him rewrite his resumé. We exchanged emails and discussed details of his resumé. He was in high spirits - even joking of being ready to work for me in Sweden. I gave him references on who and where to send his applications - how to apply for work at Ericsson, SCA and Nokia as he's well qualified to hold telecommunication's managerial position based on his degree and work experience. We were both very positive about his chances.

First week of July, before I left for a holiday in Frankfurt with my family, Jojo and I spoke over the phone again. He confirmed that he'd already sent out his application forms. And then we just talked and talked about petty things, family matters and even get nostalgic about how things were when we were small kids - when we were still together as one big happy family. He even spoke with Alexander and they talked about cars. I can still remember his hearty laugh on the speaker phone, about his wish to have met Alexander when we last visited the Philippines in 2006 and his wish for us to meet again the next time I come to visit with my family. During this conversation, I was placing some clothes' order online for Alexander. I remember him telling me: "Ate Ay, you can include an order of jeans and shirts for me, too. That will be your christmas, new year, valentine and birthday gift to me for the many years you missed them." We both laughed out at that and I told him that it's a good many years, so I guess I owe him that and promised I'd send him something. He gave me his new address and he made me promise. I thought his "lambing" was sweet. He never asked me for anything, but that day was somewhat different. The very next day, I shopped for the things he asked me and sent it over before I left for our family holiday.

I can't help thinking: was his "lambing" his own unconcious way of saying his goodbye? I am in grief for losing him this way, when I thought a bridge has slowly been built up again between us after so many years. Still, I am thankful for the opportunity given to us to be able to communicate before all this.

Bro, wherever you are, rest in peace.