friday, friday ... yehey!

isn't it a fascinating thought that tomorrow's already the 1st of december? hurray! to think that the year 2007 is coming to its close gives me mixed feelings - of relief and expectations, that is. i'm relieved at the thought that another year's to come to pass ... just the mere thought of having survived its challenges makes me feel so blessed already. a mixed rush of expectations awash me at the thought of yet another year of life to live - and to prepare myself to face and battle life's many challenges.

wow ... year 2008 ... don't you just love the thought of going through a new exciting phase of life in this great world? i so look forward to the new year ... but first, i'll have to say goodbye to the year 2007 - and that is in about 31 days from now! until then ... be happy and merry - regardless of how life is treating you these days. remember, every waking moment is a true blessing ... amidst pain or suffering, merriment or unsettling situations - it still is a blessing that you can feel all that. this simply is what life is all about!

about the philippines ...

i was swamped with questions about what's going on in the philippines today. as i am one who do not watch TV early in the mornings nor was i one who would browse any newspaper (i have stopped reading them altogether), i was the last to know of the recent attempt of another coup de état in manila (gezz, they never stop!) - sad eh?

i was not in the least surprised when i learned of this. i simply downplayed the whole thing as normal - "they do that in the philippines every 2nd or 3rd year - nothing new", i said. and that is how i close the subject about the philippines. i am tired of explaining how things "work" in the philippines to most europeans. they are smart enough to know the root of all this evil in the governing bodies of the philippines - that is from the top level down to the bottom level of leadership. need i elaborate? mention the name of the philippines anywhere abroad and the impressions you'd get are nothing but negativity - unless you pinpoint the very few areas where we excel: in some areas of arts (theater, music, film) and sports (boxing) - and yes, the OFWs ... these so-called modern day heroes of the philippines working hard abroad - not only to support their own families left in the philippines but is also the very ones who generates income for the philippine government to run the already hardhit economy of the philippines. and if i may add, very few filipinos know this!

i may be a filipina, but it's sometimes difficult for me to find words to describe the philippines. it is not the same philippines i knew then - things have certainly changed. some say they are better, but i hardly see them with my own eyes during my visits. having lived abroad gave me a whole new perspective about the philippines: its government, its people, its progress and its economic state - simply put, things are done very differently out there than what's the norm in most countries in Asia and Europe.

the philippines will always be my philippines - but i'm so sick and tired of the way things are being run out there ... i feel so helpless ... i feel frustrated. what should one do watching from a distance?

list of 20 things

the rule is simple:
list 20 things you want to say to 20 people but know you never will. don't say who they are. (this idea is inspired by Manang Lea's blog)

1) what do i care how you feel? you were hardly there for me when i needed you the most.
2) i hate you and all your pack of lies.
3) get a grip of your own life!
4) mind your own business ...
5) i hate the way you smirk when you do not approve of someone or something.
6) how could you abandon your children and leave them in the care of total strangers?
7) i wish you were my mother ...
8) how i wish i belong to your family ...
9) stop feeling so sorry for yourself ... you're not as handicapped as you think you are.
10) you can give me the money you hated so much ... i know of many great ways to spend them.
11) i'm sorry if you think i'm being selfish, but i need to be just that so as to keep your sorry ass work for your own living.
12) i am not your bank account
13) i forgive you, but please don't ask me to forget and simply move on - it's ain't that easy.
14) if you don't have anything good to say, shut up!
15) don't you ever think you know it all 'coz you hardly have all the facts - do some good research first before you open your mouth and give advices.
16) you and i had been fooled ... bigtime!
17) thank you for all the kind things you've done ... for the big and small sacrifices you've made ... for being there and taking the huge responsibility you didn't have to take in the first place.
18) you are living a hell of a life ... when do you bail yourself out? in your own pool of blood?
19) how can you give up on life so easily?
20) you are so blessed ... why the long face all the time?

boy, i feel so good after doing this list ... i'll have to do this again - but maybe with a different twist. i'll let you know when i've come up with something ... have a good read - no guessing!

what a great day spent today!

yes, i can truly say that much. i didn't spent time in the gym as i've earlier planned ... i let Alexander decide what we'd to for the rest of the day. and mind you, his plan turned out to be a wonderful idea.

we walked for more than 6 kilometers - from our house, through the forest woods and then off to its nearest shopping centre! and we actually had great fun ... he blabbered endlessly during our walk - he told me of stories he read from a book, we sang songs, we screamed our guts out during the walk through the woods (we know no one would hear us), we raced up and down the hill, even try to scare each other at the slightest eerie sound we hear in the woods (he told me of what we'd do if we see deers and bears - "play dead, mom!") - oh, the things we did were great fun ... we're simply "twosome, awesome"!

arriving at the shopping centre, we decided to take a hamburger (i can imagine he got very hungry after that walk) and we went around the toys and game shops. and you know what that meant ... yup, we ended up buying game discs for his Wii and Nintendo consoles. while at it, i insisted on getting him some new winter gear, extra trousers and shirts - he's grown so fast that most of his gear from last year don't fit him anymore. and he's really tall for his age!

lugging quite a lot of shopping bags, i was not really up for the 6 kilometer walk back home - so, we agreed to take the bus. he was just as bubbly on our way home - talking incessantly of what he'll do when we get home and humming his favourite tunes until we reached our final stop. as he jumped off the bus, he simply dashed off the sidewalk in half sprints - too eager to get home.

as i unload the stuffs we bought on the kitchen table, alexander just grabbed his discs and off he went to play. well, this is pretty much another day we spent with each other. when my hubby came home, alexander did a full account of what we've done and where we've been during the day - afterwhich both boys immersed themselves in the world of Wii. that's our day, folks!

let this bring out a smile on your face ...

this very clip brings out a smile on Alexander's face - whenever he's grouchy, i play this for him and his face would beam into a smile ... and then a giggle ... and then comes his booming guffaws. it's worth it!

some revelations ...

after breakfast today, my son showed me something that really surprised me: he wrote his aunt a short letter on his own! the letter read:

Dear Faster Åsa,
I miss you. I have been fine. I hope you are, too.
Love,
Alexander

it was a revelation for me that his young mind had started to compose such thoughts and actually put it down in writing - that's amazing for a mom like me to know that he can actually write! so, i asked him if he could write and show me something else - and he did!

News
An engine is lost. The engine cannot come out and he was very sad.

that's his own words! i might as well add to let you know that he love to play with toy trains - very much a fan of Thomas Tank Engine and Friends. he sometimes thinks he's one of them - that's role playing for you.

another revelation: he asked me to call him by his full name, Alexander, and not Alex. why? he explained that there's another boy called Alex in his class - and he's blond! he argued that he doesn't want to be called Alex because his hair is brown! great argument, huh?

next revelation: he wants his hair cut short all the time - he said he doesn't want to look like a girl in a long hair! i was told that at one time or another he'd been chased by some girls from another class who wanted to kiss him. all this time, he believed that he was chased because the girls thought he was a girl. such childlike innocence - so pure, so delightful!

these revelations are far too much for half a day as today ... but i sure am beaming inside out. wouldn't you?

i'm due to the gym by lunchtime and Alexander will be tagging along - who knows what other revelation awaits when we are done today (he's joining today's Kidzjam - a kiddie gym/play time while mommies are working out).

will you be up for more revelations later? we'll see about that!

time to go to bed ...

it's late ... almost 2am ... gotta sign off with a heavy heart (i would say a little bit) ... today, i'm very much a swede - sad and disappointed after last night's football fiasco.

natti-natt-natt ... sov gott!

nightmare start ... nightmare finish!

sadly so, that's just how i would describe the recently concluded football match between Spain and Sweden - WE LOST THE GAME!

THE SCORE:
SPAIN - 3, SWEDEN - 0

already in the first half of the game, you'd smell SLAUGHTER to the first degree at 2-0 in favour of Spain. yaiiikks! the 6000 - 8000 throng of Swedes who invaded Plaza de Mayor in Madrid, all in full banner, flag and costumes, were obviously very disappointed by the poor performance of the Swedish national team - as some would put it: A TOTAL DISGRACE!

well, win or lose, the Swedes never let it get over their heads - we still have a chance to nick one of those golden ticket to the European football tournament. at this point in time, back in Madrid, the Swedes are partying .... who would want to miss that warm reception and party ambience in Madrid? not a Swede! never!

hah ... just wait and see - we'll wake up from this nightmare pretty soon. Heja Sverige!

today's main event: football

you read right! and yes, we're all geared at home for the day's main event: Sweden's up against Spain for the qualifying round for a slot in the European Football Championships! the Swedes will definitely be glued on their seats as they watch their TV screens as this main event takes place in Madrid, Spain. i'll fill you in with more details later.

Heja Sverige!

count your blessings

in addition to my early morning thoughts, i was reminded one more time: count your blessings! no matter what the odds are, count your blessings! you will be surprised that there had been more great and wonderful things that had happened in your lifetime than you imagined.

live for today ... cherish the moments in your past (good or bad) ... imagine a better future - these are nice thoughts ... for you'll never know ... tomorrow may never come. such a morbid thought, huh? life in itself is full of surprises .... enjoy your life! i know i do - always!

early morning thoughts

yup, i do get some of them - like today!

i just chatted with my cousin who lives in Hong Kong ... just in passing. we said our "his" and "hellos" and "how-do-you-dos" ... just touching base. and then i asked her how's life treating her, to which she replied: "life is good...great food, great friends, great family, great holidays ... happiness guilt is sinking in ...but I should not complain... I balance it with the thought that "hey ! i don't have a career " and to that i replied: "great thinking - no, you shouldn't feel guilty having, and enjoying, all things great ... you are blessed and it's important that you take pride in that ... so, be happy some more!"

my cousin, bless her, is one wonderful and good-natured person. when she chose to be a stay-at-home and fulltime wife, i thought it was one brave thing to do. she gave up her own career and took charge of the homefront (with nanny help, of course) - with her hubby as the family's pillar and strength (in every sense of the word). with all that great things she's enjoying, she should be very happy, and she deserve to feel that way.

the so-called "happiness guilt" do creep in, at one time or another when things would go too good to be true. i would feel the same way, too, but never will i let it spoil the great feeling i am enjoying. i always make it a point to remind myself that i deserve whatever great things that come my way - it wouldn't have been served to me on a platter if i didn't deserve it, right?

so, to those who are happy and content, continue feeling that way - YOU DESERVE IT! to those who feel down and out, do not fret, your "happy factor" is probably lurking around the corner ... just wait and see.

knowing what i know now ...

... i would have been more careful about how i would express how i truly feel. i've been way too emotional when it comes to matters of the heart - not only in the boyfriend-girlfriend thing but more about my relationship with people i hold dear and love the most ... and that's basically my family and friends.

i wish i was more forgiving ...
even if the wrong deed done unto me left me the deepest scar and hurt me beyond comprehension;

i wish i was more understanding ...
even to the maddening point of scaring the wits out of me or when situations drive me beyond the true meaning of insanity;

i wish i was more caring and giving ...
even to the point of exhaustion that i forget to care and cater to my own personal needs;

i wish i was more knowledgeable ...
that i was better equipped with the right attitude on how to handle difficult situations even in the course of sending my self-esteem down the drain;

i wish i was more creative and imaginative ...
that i'd find ways and means to give more meaning to my life at its most trying times.

but then again, knowing what i know now ... i'm not so sure if i would change some of the decisions i've made in exchange for something else.

hmmmm .... maybe. on the second thought, maybe not. i think i would not change anything at all. i would like to think i would, but i know in my heart that i would not.

friday ... again!

and what do you know! it's friday once again and i dunno how i suddenly have some time to sit here and write ... this very opportunity is way too precious - that much i can guarantee you.

actually, i'm multi-tasking already, as usual. food's heating on the stove this early and i have my laundry machine going in full swing out in the pantry and the dishwasher is also working it out in the kitchen. alex promised to clean up his toy room (he's now working with the vacuum because i threatened to vacuum all his toys cluttered on the floor) and that he will tidy his bedroom (because as a rule: no tidying up, no more Wii-time).

honestly, it is such a puzzle to me that whenever i have my boys at home, the clean up tasks seemed endless. when i am alone for a week or two, i could keep the house spotless clean and have it stay that way. amazingly, as soon as my boys enters the house, the clutter would start from the doorstep leading to the kitchen and then the living room, to the hallway and then the bedrooms.

anyway, with my hubby working night shift tonight, that meant alex and i will have our cozy friday time after dinner - it will be movie night with goodies, crisps and chips. wanna come and join us?

on father's day ...

... that was celebrated yesterday in Sweden, we maintained a low profile - meaning staying home and got cozy and lazy. lunch was somewhat special - i prepared my famous barbequed chicken wings and tossed some chinese egg and ham fried rice ... my boys love it that way! later, during tea time, we had some apple pie topped with vanilla cream - it's heavenly delicious! it should be coz i made them myself.

the highlight of the evening? well, that would be when my son said his goodnight to his dad greeting him a happy father's day one more time. when my hubby joked and asked him where's his present, alexander beamed, flashed his sweet smile and said: "but daddy, i am your best gift ever!" - and to that, we all laughed in agreement ... it's quite true ... no, it's very true. how can one forget?

that particular moment was capped in a group hug ... how else?

idle week ... lazy days

another wonderful week of holiday over and done with! where did all those seven days gone? how was all those days spent? so sudden? way too soon? nah ... it's simply an idle week to wit. lazy days ... didn't you had one, too?