knowing what i know now ...

... i would have been more careful about how i would express how i truly feel. i've been way too emotional when it comes to matters of the heart - not only in the boyfriend-girlfriend thing but more about my relationship with people i hold dear and love the most ... and that's basically my family and friends.

i wish i was more forgiving ...
even if the wrong deed done unto me left me the deepest scar and hurt me beyond comprehension;

i wish i was more understanding ...
even to the maddening point of scaring the wits out of me or when situations drive me beyond the true meaning of insanity;

i wish i was more caring and giving ...
even to the point of exhaustion that i forget to care and cater to my own personal needs;

i wish i was more knowledgeable ...
that i was better equipped with the right attitude on how to handle difficult situations even in the course of sending my self-esteem down the drain;

i wish i was more creative and imaginative ...
that i'd find ways and means to give more meaning to my life at its most trying times.

but then again, knowing what i know now ... i'm not so sure if i would change some of the decisions i've made in exchange for something else.

hmmmm .... maybe. on the second thought, maybe not. i think i would not change anything at all. i would like to think i would, but i know in my heart that i would not.